In Memoriam.


I wish I could decide how I will be remembered. It’s important to me what my daughters and grandchildren hear about me. Yes, I know that they know me in ways no one else can or will, but there are also complexities concerning who I am that they do not know. Like why I am so protective of them and their relationships with each other. It is because my father taught my siblings and me that “your friends you can pick, but your family you are stuck with.” Translation: family is forever so remember to love them fiercely. Knowing that you won’t always agree nor will you think alike regarding every issue cannot determine your relationship.

Like why I chose to trust GOD for my marriage and wait for HIS divine plan to make it a good one. It was because I had disobeyed and sinned so greatly as an unbeliever that I felt like I owed it to GOD to wait for HIS intervention and not seek after my own deliverance outside of HIS will. I had already married while running from holiness and a relationship with GOD. I ran, desiring the pleasures of a physical relationship with a man over the love of GOD which I did not know would fulfill me exponentially more than any man could. So when I accepted GOD, through HIS SON, JESUS CHRIST, I refused to sin even more by deciding how much struggle I would accept by ending my own trials. I committed to GOD more than to marriage. In doing so, HE satisfied my brokenness and confirmed HIS presence through every fire, valley and flood until my marriage was healed and even to this day.

Like why I forgive others and allow GOD to handle most matters of betrayal, pettiness and strife. It is because that was my weakness and is still a struggle but I am determined to please GOD with my life because I owe HIM my life. I will accept the love of GOD over anything in this world because I owe HIM! I trust that the GOD who created the world will create victory for me EVERY time I am wronged.

i also want my family to know that when I leave this Earth, no matter the method, whether difficult or peaceful, I have gotten what I wanted. My desire is to live a life that is acceptable before GOD so that I can stand (or fall) before HIM in peace. I live a holy, separated, consecrated life so that GOD wI’ll be glorified and while I am certain that I am not perfect, I am just as certain that I am redeemed! I have the promise of eternal life with GOD! I also stand on the WORD that death has no sting, but death has been swallowed up in victory so not matter how I pass over from this life to rest until the trumpet sounds, I will not suffer, did not suffer, and got what I wanted; the promise of eternal life.

I want to be remembered as a woman who loved GOD fiercely because we are family!!! HE has accepted me, forgiven me and HE loves me eternally!